I love to raid my pastor’s office for books to read and videos to watch. I guess raid isn’t the right word, because he has given me permission to borrow any of them. But saying raid is so much funnier. There are times when the book or video will be the very thing I need to hear. Like the video I watched last week….
Some of you might had read “Without Grace” I wrote a few weeks ago. Since then I have been asking God to teach me how to speak the truth with love, which is so hard for me to do. I’m usually blunt, withhold the truth, or tell a half truth. To my surprise this video, which main topic isn’t about telling the truth, devoted a whole session to Godly speak and telling the truth with love.
After watching it. I just sit there for about five minutes. I was upset with myself; I knew I was wrong. I needed to pray and talk to God. I just couldn’t say the words because it hurt. I left the room and went to the piano. It usually helps to play until I get to the place where I can talk to God. I sit there for a few minutes then started playing, but I couldn’t get there. The words on my heart just won’t come out of my mouth and I knew I needed to say them aloud. A God thought pass through my mind, “You are avoiding me,” and I was. I got angrier. I walked back to the room where I watch the video and close the doors loudly knowing I needed to be alone. The first words out of mouth where, “YES, I’m trying to avoid you” address to God. Follow with more angry words and tears. A humbleness came when I sit down and prayed telling God how I felt. There is a knowing He could handle all the sorrow, bitterness, angry that was leaving my heart. Freeing me to hear the truth with love, so I could start learning how speak the truth with love. I know it will take time and I’ll have to be reminded a few times, but it’s a beginning.
Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) “Instead, speaking the truth in love….”
Ephesians 4:31(NIV) “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”
I almost want to say be careful what you ask God for, but the truth is I’m thankful for want God gives me even when it hurts.
Peace and love.