My Father’s List

My father and mother divorced when I was about six years old. My dad wasn’t in my life much after that. Then when I was 15, over 30 years ago, my dad was killed. This morning as I laid in bed thinking about church and God, I thought about some of the men in my church and how they treat me. Some of them have fatherly characteristics that I would have liked to have had in my father. Two or three of them have given me bear hugs at just the right time that make me feel comforted, protected, and cared for. Then there are some that have corrected me when I needed it. Being corrected doesn’t feel good, and sometimes my feelings got hurt, but it was always done in love for me. They want me to be a child of God.

Back to this morning, I thought about a letter I found a couple of years ago in my dad’s church stuff. The letter was written well over 30 years ago by my dad to God. It goes something like this: Heavenly Father, I can’t do this by myself. I want to see saved…. then there is a list of names; some are family members, others are people he knew that were not saved.

I must tell you, I don’t know if my father made it to heaven. I know at one point he was baptized and saved. I also know that there were times when he backslid. I can tell you this, some of the people in that letter got saved after my father was killed… About four years ago, I started going to church and discovering what it means to have a Heavenly Father… I was baptized and saved April 7, 2015…. My name, Cassie, is on my Father’s list.

On a side thought, there are several music sheets in my dad’s church stuff including this song which makes me think of my church family that I’m bless to have.


Update: April 11, 2020 a day before Easter with the world in uncertainty with COVID 19, I wrote my own list of love ones my heart aches to be saved.

Doug (my husband), Loralyn (my daughter), Chris (her husband), Sapphire (granddaughter), Ryan& Issac (grandsons), Cindy & Saprena (sisters), Maneth (brother), Tami, Windy, Mindy, Gladys and you my friend.

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